Q: What did the floor say to the Christmas tree? A: Your balls are hanging.

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What is worse than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Obama

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead." It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Roses are flowers.

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Please ignore this statement.

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how many couples does it take to screw in a light bulb. 1 the wife to go buy the light bulb and the husbend to put it in.

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Roses are red, violetsvare blue, I have aids, so do you

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What's faker than Nicki Minaj's tits? Women rights.

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Why is there a corpse in this TV box? Bob was never a great skydiver.

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what did the toe say to the other toe? nothing they cant speak

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What do you call a Knight who farts a lot? Sir Farts-a-lot

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A kid comes across an injured duck near a lake. Nevermind he doesn't see it he's really high.

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What did the cop say to his belly? "Hey in there!"

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how do you make a blond girl cry? kill her family

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say sopha king together then sat funny at the end

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If Spongebob lives in Bikini Bottom, Where is Bikini Top?

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Alister Darling plucks his eyebrows.

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Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death

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Can we still mine for gold in the American River? No, anyone seen mining for gold is considered a hobo and all the gold is cleared out by random people in the 17 century

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How do you stop a bus? You don't, and Regina George didn't either.

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*Wear a Mario costume* What happened to Luigi? I ate him.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Murder his family.

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why did the man stay home on a monday? He was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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