- Anti Joke

Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Erm Wait why would a chicken be on the side walk in the first place?

There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

What did the man say to the woman giving him a blowjob? That feels good.

What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari? There's no Ferrari in my garage.

A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

There are two muffins in an oven neither can say anything at the moment, however, because both are in excruciating pain.

Why did the black man actually receive an education. Because he is entitled to one as a citizen of the US. Frederick Douglass, at the twenty-third anniversary of the Emancipation Proclamation stated that "Education, the sheet anchor to a society where liberty and justice are secure, is a dangerous thing to society in the presence of injustices and oppressions...." Douglass knew that in order for black people in America to survive, they had to be educated because it was the one area that could make the weak person strong and the black person equal. By the time the modern day Civil Rights Movement started, its leaders already knew that education was knowledge, and that knowledge was power. In order for black people to gain their equality, they would have to have a solid foundation to stand on, and that foundation would be education.

Tifa my ass, if that is your name buddy, then I am Nicholas Cage, or why do you not just call me Cloud Strife? Seriously, if you are a guy just say it and get lost, I will still honor my agreement and show up and see what I can do for your little order though, you pay the trip and the stay of course.

How did little jimmy survive the plane crash? He ate all the survivors, then when the helicopter arrived he ate them too and took the helicopter.

men

Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

If anyone has a KIK, put it in the comments.

How do you wake up Lady GaGa you set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

How do you make the queen of england cry? You rape her violently.

What's red, blue & green all over?

How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

Why was a white man mowing his lawn ? The lawn was getting undesirably long which provoked the white man.

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A hat.

It was Valentines Day today, I thought I should get her something... I brought flowers to her grave.

What did the pencil say to the other pencil? Nothing, pencils do not have the ability to speak as they are an object.

How do you confuse a Muslim? - Rub his belly.

Hey Bill, did you know we have a black guy in our family tree? Really? Yeah, he's still hanging there

How do you kill Glenn Campbell? Stab him with a screwdriver.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops