What do you call a human with no eye? A Human.

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Oooh. That fish smells delicious.

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I was watching Fox news.

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What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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a white man a black man and an asian man had a few drinks at a bar. they all died from alcohol poisoning

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How did the chicken perform the bank robbery? It was crossing the road and cluelessly walked into a bank, and EVERYONE in that bank had Chickenphobia so they just GAVE him the money...

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A man walks into a clothing store, he calls his wife, buys a shirt, and leaves.

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Q: Did you know Hellen Kellers father was a skilled craftsman? A: Neiter did she.

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Why did the girl lie to the priest? because she didn't want to tell him the truth

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the bat mobile? A: Robin get in the bat mobile.

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What did the friend say to the other friend? A. Hi friend.

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Where does a king keep his armies? In his sleevies

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2 muffins are in a oven for 30 minutes, the baker then questions why he only baked 2 muffins.

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it ain't easy being cheesy Max Harrison

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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what has wheels and is red. A heart, i lied about the wheels.

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What did the duck say to the other duck? Something, But us humans don't speak there language to understand

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what's purple and plastic purple plastic

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What do u call a woman geometry teacher. Santains wife.

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What do you call a black person playing basketball? An athlete

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Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

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What did Thisara say? You cant see me bich

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops