what is blue and smells like fish? blue fish ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? Their religion.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

how much swag could a swagchuck chuck, if a swagchuck could chuck swag?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a black man that has just gotten out of jail? A former criminal who has served his time in prison and is now trying to redeem himself by becoming a respectable member of his community

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the black person say when his white friend said "Nigga!"? "You know, I really don't get racist jokes like this."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the African American man afraid of dogs? He had a terrible childhood memory of being violently dry humped by a german shepherd.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Robert Mugabe.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

their was a black man in my family tree hes still hanging on

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the little boy with cancer get for christmas? Nothing. He was a jew. Jew's don't celebrate christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's hard, long and screws a blond? An IQ test.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a bag of dead babies? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do Helen Keller and Beethoven have in common? They both died wondering what the hell their last words were.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many tacos does it take to feed an angry person? You better tacover it!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happened to the young baby after her mother died It grew up got a collage degree and had a great life growing up with her dad and visiting the cemetery every year

thumb_up thumb_down +13

- why did the chicken cross the road? why? - to get to your house. - knock knock. who's there? - the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Billy run away from a mysterious adult? He was playing the iconic game known as tag where 2+ people chase each other in an attempt to tag them.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut you racist bastard

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops