Wanna hear a riddle? Womens rights

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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A Jew walks into a bar...He uses his coupon to get a free drink, then leaves.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tired of this joke.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? None they're dead.

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Why did the black man enjoy KFC. Because like many foods, it contains monosodium glutamate (MSG) a flavor enhancer that makes many foods taste better. It however had nothing to do with race or cultural background.

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how do stick a dead baby into a blender and why???????? feet first so u can see the reaction on top.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Charles Grodin. Charles Grodin who? Exactly.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side.

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How do you make a clown stop laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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What's green and has wheels? Nope, it's a car.

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Roses are red, Violets are rare because of the irreversible damage to our ecosystem in recent years.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

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Why did the lorry cross the road? It was swerving to avoid a small child. Unfortunately the driver's reactions were too slow and he hit the kid. After a week fighting for their life in hospital the child fibaly died. There wasn't a scratch on the lorry though.

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What did the white guy say when a black man punched him? Ow, i am sueing for assault. that is a crime

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Your mother is so fat, she struggles to control her weight even with dieting. Obesity and heart disease runs is in her mother's side of the family; she and everyone close to her is very concerned.

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What's the difference between car keys and truck keys? Literally nothing.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Whos there Not Susie What did Susie get for Christmas? I don't know , she never opened it. Who high fived Susie? No one Why did Susie die? She got shot in the face

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, speaking to a bird would have been considered highly irregular, bordering on insane. He left the bird alone, until the time came to slaughter the bird and take it's nutritious meat.

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Whats not funny and no one wants to waste the time to reading it? This joke

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A horse trots into a bar. He is left with a bump on his head.

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Why did FiddleBob Joe chuck a stick of butter out the window? Because he wanted to see a butter fly

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Anti deep thoughts, by Fabian Monge'. The other day while parked at a stop light i was looking in the rear view mirror at the person who was blowing his horn at me. I then realized that while i was looking back at him the light had been green for a while. I then thought that i had better drive forward because i was holding up traffic, and that it was very selfish of me to waste other peoples time like that while wondering what was going on behind me instead of what was happening in front of me. In the time it took for me to come to this conclusion, i had wasted another few seconds of someones time. How very selfish of me.....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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