What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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Q: Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench. A: A bench is an object and a mexican is a human being.

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Q: What did the lesbian say to her partner? A: We cannot get married in forty five states.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Nobody..

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How man people does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1 an electrician

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What's the difference between Jews and pizza? One is an adherent to the religion of Judaism, and the other is a doughy bread topped with tomato sauce and cheese. They share virtually no similarities.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

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why did the blind kid cross the road... because he was sick of being blind

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I went to the principle's office because I had a hard time reading They tried to tell me I was lesdistic

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem, Whoop-dee-do.

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Hey look, I found a fire hydrant!

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i have a story to tell u!!! oh s*** i forgot!

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How did the blind man escape the mugger? He ran into a bus.

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Whats better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded

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ok, so a blue flower in a meadow dances valiantly, while being watched by a chipmunk. the king of the sky fairies ate an apple and a chicken and a pear, and a cumkwuat and frog legs and a bone and a library and a jeep and fig and a rhino and a sword but fairies don't have that big of mouths to eat all of that, so this never happened

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Why do so many black athletes drive black cadillac escalades? Because it's roomy and they deserve to reward themselves after they put in so much hard work trying to be the best player they can be.

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What happened to the boy who ate too much? He got type 2 diabetes

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If there's something strange in the neighborhood, who you gonna call? The police, because it's obviously a darky that's up to no good.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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What's beneath Chuck Norris's beard? A chin I presume, as that is what most humans have under their beards. Chuck Norris is a human and therefore is likely to have a chin. This is all based on the assumption that he is a human, because of the many characteristics he has shown that are humanlike.

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A Lion walked into bar. He ordered a steak Because lions love meat.

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What do you call a man holding a bible? A man holding a bible. What do you call a woman holding a bible? A women holding a bible. What do you call a man and a women holding a bible? A man and a women holding a bible.

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Your mother is so ugly that nobody wants to date her because she is hideous.

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what has four legs but cant walk? a dog after anal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops