How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

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Taxes are like prostitutes. The higher your salary, the more you pay.

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Why was little Tommy scared? Because he'd just been abducted by a psychopathic rapist.

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A black man, a Mexican man, a Jew, an Asian man, and a white man get into a fight. Who won? Well since their dispute got all the way to a fight, I guess nobody really wins.

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That akward moment when you tell a person you like them and they don't respond.

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what do you get when you cross a bulldog with a shitshu? a puppy.

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How does a Chinese person wear a contact lens? On a 45 degree angle

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the economy.

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So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

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Hey, guess what. What? ... Hello? Sorry, I don't talk to strangers.

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What is grosser than somebody eating their own booger? Someone else eating that persons booger

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"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

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Q: What has four eyes but can't see? A: A blind guy with glasses

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Daughter: Dad I have some news for you Dad: What is it? Daughter: I am pregnant Dad: ... I am so happy I am going to have a grandson, my 27 year old daughter just married and now pregnant, this is a great day!

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It's not just a boulder. It's a rock! A rooooocckk!

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A man walks into a bar he orders a drink

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm blind.

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Why is it stupid to call your son Bethany? It is commonly a girl's name.

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Q:Why are babies and spaghetti alike? A:They both stick to the wall when cooked.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house... knock knock who's there the chicken

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Knock Knock Whos there? Jason Oh, ok come in.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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Dr. I need a new butt, mine has a crack in it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops