What two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down +10

So there's a black man riding a bike down the street. A police officer pulls him over to tell him that his back tire seems to be flat. The black man says thank you, and continued riding his bike. Later, he would repair his tire.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats funnier than 1 dead baby? 2 Dead babies

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worse than finding 16 dead babies in a tree? Finding 1 dead baby in 16 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Wooooah! Thats literally the sound I made, anyway, can you like type the entire story in one setting, I feel weird, did you just try to hypnotize me? Anyway, are you trying to, woah, I am like high now...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did Lisa fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock! Who's there? *Definitely not Lisa.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A jew enters a mall.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you make Lady Gaga sad? You kill her family.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the little girl with no arms an legs cry? Because she fell off the swing.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What you you call peanut butter on the top of a dog house Peanut butter

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your mother is so fat that she is considered morbidly obese. In fact, she should seriously consider a weight loss diet to reduce her risk of heart disease and diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: Playstation 4 or Xbox One? A: Both of them are specialized desktop computers used to play video games. It makes no sense to argue or attempt to make any distinction, as they are the exact same thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

justin beiber sucks

thumb_up thumb_down +10

If a tree fell in the forest, and no one was around to hear it, would you like a cupcake?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the clown go to the doctor? Because he had a malignant tumor on his liver.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did bethany fall off the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Bethany

thumb_up thumb_down +10

a kid was born with down syndrome on christmas night

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you tickle a tree? you dont you are a schizo stop kicking leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A guy with cancer walks into a bar... No one treated him any special way, it's not like he had I have cancer written on his forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Skeletons can't move.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you get a blonde's attention? Throw deodorant at her until she looks.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

ADAM SAS IS A GREAT GUY!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops