once, my brother took my lard and gave it to the less fortunet

why didn't the mexiczn eat the black man's cooking? because it wasn't good

When the world ends what would be the death toll It would be unknown since every one would be around to calculate it

Yo dawg, I heard you like cars. Thats cool, whats your favorite one?

Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

knock knock whos there? jew jew who ? jew son o a b**** ? (aimed at ight wing racist jews)

according to the ewspickle, it is Dumbledore's favorite food.

Why is Megan Fox so hot? Because the air conditioning broke.

How many wheelchair users does it take to change a light bulb? - They are not physically capable

What is brown and can't get an erection? Poo

A drunk guy walks out of an AA meeting.

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

why was the black guy that was smoking weed in his car not sent to jail? when the cop pulled him over he thought he was black the way he was dancing but turned out to be white but that just looked black when hes dancing.

Q: Suzy loves apples she will o anything to get her hands on an apple. A: You guys are so gullible!!! She DID eat Tom's apple. ...... then he killed her.

How Do You Solve A Impossible Math Question? You Dont. cause its impossible.

What do you call a cow with no legs A cow with no legs.

Suicide Johnny and the Go Kill Yourselves

What does a grandmas vagina taste like? I don't know -- nor do I want to.

Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

Little Timmy walks into an ice-cream store. He dies on impact.

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

What did the black jewish homosexual say to the conquistador? Nothing as they were both from entirely different time periods.

A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, the bear asks the rabbit does shit stick to your fur? The rabbit says no, so the bear wipes his ass on the rabbit

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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