How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side.

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What's green and has wheels? Nope, it's a car.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tired of this joke.

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How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? None they're dead.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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Roses are red, Violets are rare because of the irreversible damage to our ecosystem in recent years.

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Wanna hear a riddle? Womens rights

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

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A Jew walks into a bar...He uses his coupon to get a free drink, then leaves.

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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Knock Knock Who's there? Charles Grodin. Charles Grodin who? Exactly.

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A black man checks his watch. He sees that its 3:50, and calmly carries on with his day.

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A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

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did you hear about the two peanuts walking down the street? one was raped.

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Why did the black guy sing? Cause he can sdf sdfsd f sdf ds f sd fsd f sd f ds g sdfgh fsh sdf h dfsg dfs g df gdfgdf g d yeah thats right

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Cat ate a battery, did volts.

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What did the chair say to the guy? Nothing, as it is a chair and chairs can't talk

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Want to know a joke? There is no joke.

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You're momma is so dumb, she has troubles passing her math unit and should seriously consider a math touter

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What happens when cole goes into a dark room? It's not possible his hair puts off too much light

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What's black and doesn't work? My blackberry

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Yo Momma so fat, that she need the atlantic to take a bath!

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what did the Nazi do when his Jewish rabbit died? silly Nazi rabbits don't have religion

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your titties super glued to a triceritops' as cheeks while the triceritops has chronic diahrea

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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