What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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A man walks into a bar a browning automatic rifle, it accidentally fires hitting the main artery in his neck and he promptly bleeds to death.

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a man was hired for a job. he made a lot of money and was able to support his family.

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Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

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What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.

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What do an owl and a squirrel have in common? They can both fly! Except for the squirrel.

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Three gay men are in a bath tub and bubbles come up and one says "who farted?"

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Whats the difference between a Cadillac and 100 dead babies? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

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How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

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Q. how does james bond like his babies A.shaken not stirred but if u think thats bad wait till u see a stirred baby

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Q. What is the difference between Jesus and and a picture of Jesus? A. It takes one nail to hang the picture Not trying to offend anyone just a joke to be clear

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How many dead babies can you fit in a telephone booth? Mmm, strange question for my HSC maths exam...

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How do you kill a baby swinging on a rope attached to a pole at 40 miles an hour? Hit it with a shovel.

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Why am I sad right now? Because I just Sh*t my pants.

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So I was walking along the beach one day and I see this whale. Then this dolphin named Lennie came up and was like, "Hey whale, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while." And the whale was like, "Sorry, but I can't talk to you." And Lennie was like, "Whyever not?" And the whale said, "Because I'm not a starfish!"

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hey i just met you and this is crazy i have alzheimers hey i just met you

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What did the rabbit say to the man nothing animals cant talk

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What do you get when you cross Michael Jackson? A collision, if Michael Jackson were alive.

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What time is it? If I hadn't poked your eyes out, you might know.

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Why did the alcoholic stumble into a bar? Because he was bleeding profusely and was desperately seeking a telephone to contact the nearest hospital.

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What's the difference between a cow? Trick question—cows eat carrots!

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A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

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Why did Michael Jackson become white? He thought he saw a ghost.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe? One is a type of small aquatic craft, and the other is a human being who practices Judaism.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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