Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

What do you get when you mix Jabba the Hut with a hen? nothing, genetically they are unable to reproduce due to the disproportionate number of chromosomes and DNA

An American, a Canadian, and a Scottish man died in a horrible car accident. Their story was used as a lesson to keep teenagers from drunk driving.

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a serial killer.

Q. What's pink and fluffy A. Pink fluff Q. What's blue and fluffy A. Blue fluff

Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Let's go ride bikes!

What's the difference between a gay and a homo?...........WTF I DON'T KNOW!?!?!?!?

the next time someone says "yolo" im going to pull out my shotgun and reply "sadly..."

Why did the sailor fall off the boat? Because vampires arent real.

What's worse than the holocaust? Nothing you insensitive ass!

Two latino men are drinking at a bar. Suddenly, one man falls off his barstool, unconscious. Later that day, he was diagnosed with pancreatitis, and died never having dealt with his severe alcoholism.

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

Why did the chicken cross the road? There must have been something that peaked her interest.

What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

Irish sobriety

Why did the chicken cross the road the chicken is blind and deaf and happened to wander into the street and got hit by a car and was instantly killed

So there's a monkey in a bar. I forgot the rest of the joke but your moms a whore

Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

Q: Wgat do you call a black man's dead bodie? A: A corpse.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset? Neither did she.

how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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