How do you kill a innocent young boy walking from school? I don't know but do you want to enjoy a refreshing beverage of creaming soda?

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Sorry wrong door.

Tom: Hey Fred. Do you wanna hear a joke? Fred: Sure Tom! (long pause) (10 Minutes Later) Fred: Tom, I thought you were gonna tell me a joke? Tom: I did, the joke is that there is no joke.

a. johns friend said your a towel b. rick replied im obivously not a towel and walked away in discust at his friends stupidity.

What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? I don't know what? I don't know, I was asking if you know...

Why did the boy dig a hole in the football field? He was blind and his parents were being quite irresponsible....However someone should probably fill in that hole, as that could be a hazard during a football game.

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She doesn't have arms. Knock, knock, Who's there? Not Sarah.

— Knock knock. — Who's there? — Funny. — Funny who? — A funny joke.

Your mamma's so obese that she can't stand up. She's been like this for years. That's because she's dead. She died of cardiovascular-related diseases.

What do you call a group of black people in a lamboghini..... Unlikely

There are a fox and a chicken and the fox eats the chicken.

Tim: Ya know what was wondering? Paul: What? Tim: Actually, I'm not wondering about it anymore.

How do you leave a jackass in suspense? I'll tell you later.

If a tree falls on a woman, and no one is around to hear it, what is a tree doing in the kitchen?

What's as red as a Lobster? A Lobster

Your mom is so nerdy that she probably went to college, got her degree, then found a very successful job in a field that she finds interesting.

Panda walks into a restaurant with gun ready to eat, shoot and leave to finish a really good grammar joke, but before he can eat, Animal Control tranquilize him and seize his gun. So all he can do is leave unconscious. Meanwhile someone takes enjoyment in slowly burning the dictionary entry for "Panda".

Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

what did blonde say to the square? ur a square which is comprised of four equal sides and always have four lines of symmetry.

My favorite word starts with F and ends with U-C-K! My favorite word is FIRETRUCK! What'd you think I'd say? My favorite thing starts with P and ends with O-R-N! My favorite thing is POPCORN! What'd you think I'd say?

whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

What's Green and flies? Super Grapes cousin Super Grape

i like punching orphans in the face, you wanna know why? what are they gonna do? tell their parents???

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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