Roses are red violets are red bushes are red oh shit my garden is on fire

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Why did the... Timmy, your mother and I are both tired.

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Why did the man have an extremely large nose? It just so happens that both his father and mother had large noses as well and nature took it's course.

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How do you piss off a gypsy? Curse at him

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How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

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Q: What do sleeping pills and coffee have in common? A: Absolutely nothing

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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What's red and can sing? Elmo

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How do you get four gay men on one stool? You get three more stools.

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What do u do when u hear about a smart Blonde. Cant think of anything? Exactly

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If Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and Charlie Sheen were in a room together and you had a gun with two bullets, who would you shoot? Well Hitler and Bin Laden are already dead, and Charlie probably wouldn't die. Plus, I honestly don't think I could bring myself to shoot someone.

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Why was the black man picking cotton from the backyard? Because he enjoys gardening as a hobby, and prefers to do it every Sunday, after work.

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Knock Knock whos there? brad are you thomas brad are you thomas who? for goodness are you a parot or something

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How do you change your dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

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Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

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So, a Hispanic, Jewish, Asian man are on a plane. The pilot turns to them and says "Aren't you tired of this?"

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

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What is red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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What do you call somebody who can't walk? Handicapped

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Wanna hear a really dirty joke the boy fell in the mud

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Dimes are silver Pennies are brass Why does your face look like an a**

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Man goes into a bar and orders 7 shots, the bartender says "Long day, huh?", the Man says yeh then goes home and kills himself.

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how did harry styles get in one diretion god

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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