Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your dog pooped on my lawn Now my violets are even more blue

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What do you call a blue bucket? A blue bucket. What do you call a red bucket? A blue bucket in disguise.

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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Black People

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Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

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What's the difference between a dead baby and my dinner??? Nothing...

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What's worse than the Holocaust? This joke.

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So, there's three blondes. Two of them walk into a bar. The third one missed it.

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roses are red violets are blue i've got alzheimer's ...

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how did the fat man get up the stairs he walked

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"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit by a car

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Thumbs up if u dont have aids:)

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How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

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yo mama is so hairy she has afros on her nipples

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens have no sense of direction, he might have thought he was in wal-mart for all I care.

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How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

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What is the difference between Barack Obama and Simba from the Lion King? One is a cartoon character from a beloved Disney classic and the other is the current President of the United States of America.

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Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

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Why is Satan evil? Because he makes people eat apples.

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What's worse than someone posting a number on antijoke ? Someone posting about what's worse than the holocaust

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Did you hear about the kid from Texas? He shot his campus up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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