Brian knew how to save the world from the death penalty: "Let's kill everybody who is not against it." So I killed Brian and waste my time in death row now.

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Why couldn't the boy in the wheelchair sue the man making fun of him? Because he couldn't get up the stairs to court.

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A cricket walks into a bar and the bartender says,"Hey, we have a drink named after you!' and the cricket says,"Oh really? You have a drink named Joe?"

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whats worse than bitting into ur apple and finding a worm? bitting into ur apple an finding out u have just murded noddy and his family who were making a nice little home in there

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What did the lady find when she walked through the door? Her husband stabbing himself to death because she ate his cornflakes

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Call me Ishmael. Or don't. Well, you can, but I'm not forcing you. You could call me Steve or Bob, it's not really that important. I'm just around here anyway to tell about a huge white dick. A whale dick. A SPERM whale dick. Never mind. Or the guy whose obsessed with it. No, it's not what it sounds like. He just wants to stab it with his harpoon. Wait, that sounds even worse. Whatever. Anyway, call me Ishmael...

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Q: How man Jews can you fit in a box? A:if your German than you tell me.

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Your mother is so ugly that I removed her from my friends list on Facebook.

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How are baseball and the holocaust similar? They're both games, except for the holocaust

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how do you make a plumber cry? pull up his pants....

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How do you drown a blond girl? Forcibly hold her head under water until it enters the lungs and prevents the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

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What's worst than the holocaust? Coming home and having your parents say " we received an email from your teacher today"

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Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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There was a man posting an anti-joke... He had no life

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Q: Why did Grandma fall down the stairs? A: Because she had a brain hammerage

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What do you call a black flying an airplane? A pilot you racist bastard.

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knock knock. who's there? just open. just open who? you're really dumb aren't you

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what's worse than the holocaust living jews

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A woman walked into a club. Or at least, that's what her abusive boyfriend told the police.

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why did the bus roll down the hill? Children were playing in the street.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because that's where the oncologist's office is.

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What's better then 100 dead babies in a barrel 1 dead baby in 100 barrels

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Women's Rights

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mom. Your mom who? Its your mom now open the danm door!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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