How does a Chinese person wear a contact lens? On a 45 degree angle

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yo mammas so fat when she runs the world spins faster

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Don't you hate when you finger your belly button and your nipples exploed?

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Why couldnt dylan make it to mike's birthday party? He was killed instantly in a car crash on the way there.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'who the f*ck let a horse in here, get it out now'.

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Ted: Joe, do you think I'm dumb? Joe: No, I think you're Ted.

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I heard an awesome joke last night. I cannot remember it.

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Q: What do you call a man from south korea? A: I don't know, but I'm not letting him drive my car.

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So a boy walks into a bar. He broke his arm and now is severly crippled

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Two fish in a tank one said "How do you drive this thing?"

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Fight fire with with fire! That would be impossible, it'd just make the fire bigger. And probably kill you.

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Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, Pansies are green, I think I'm colorblind

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Looking's for free... Touching's for free.

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A teacher at a school in America is writing on a chalk board. He asks the class what 50 - 20 is. The teacher begins to become impatient when noone put their hands up. This is because the school is an educational facility for asylumn seekers from Rwanda and all of their hands were cut off by a Warlord.

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DON'T READ THIS!!! you suck.

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What did George Washington say to his men before they got on a boat? Men, get on the boat

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Yo momma's so fat, however, she takes pride in her size because every body is beautiful.

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What did Newton say to Einstein? Nothing, Newton was dead before Einstein's birth.

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What did the basketball player do before he scored a basket? Shot the basket ball

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You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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Why did the man enter the fridge? He was hot Why is the man not in the chicken shop Hes in the fridge

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Q:Whats yellow and white and sits at the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with slashed floaties Q:Whats red and gory and sits at the top of a pool? A: Floaties with a slahed baby

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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