Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have to use the bathroom.

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Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

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Why did the boy die while brushing his teeth? The toothbrush wasn't water-proof.

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What did the oboe say to the trombone? SQUEEEEEEK

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Guess my favourite fruit. Peach.

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An old asian woman is driving down the freeway a drunk driver merges into her lane. Everyone is ok because she keeps a safe distance behind.

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender asks her, "why the long face?". She tells him it's from her parent's genes.

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How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

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An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

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what do you call a kid with no legs and no arms some one who will nevaer forfill there bucket list cause they cant write it

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench. The bucket.

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Hey Babies, The holocaust called, they want their screams back

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Why couldn't the pirate play poker? Poker is a tricky game - maybe he'd never been taught how to play.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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have u seen helen kellers dad? A: neither has she

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why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

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Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad? A: Kill his family

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Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

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A woman walks into a bar. Guys aren't the only ones walking into bars.

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I've got a great new 'Knock Knock Jock

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What did the Christian say to the atheist? "Even though we don't share the same beliefs, I think it's great that we can still be good friends."

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A Mexican, a Jew, an American and an Indian are on a plane with no parachutes. No one jumps out because no one has a parachute.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Almost everything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops