What do people call the completely paralyzed man with no eyes? David, his name.

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Why did the little boy refuse to kiss his grandmother? He was afraid she would slip him some tongue.

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What would you do if your penis disintegrated? Never mate again.

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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Why did Rachel fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Rachel.

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When u send someone fudge, u must send a note along with it! Roses are red Violets are blue Fudge is brown Here's some fudge

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A black man walks into a bar. He paid his tab and couldn't have been more polite.

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Just gonna stand there and watch me roar. But that's alright because I am a dinosaur.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why don't Vikings read the New York Times? Because they all died centuries ago. And none of them live in New York.

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what did batman say to robin to get him into the car? Get in the car

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Intercom:ALERT! THERES AND EXTREIMEST IS THE SCHOOL! Little kid: Sir, can I borrow that towel on your head? BOOOOOOM!

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Q: Why did the boy not laugh at the Anti Joke? A: Because he has no sense of humor

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Knock-Knock Come in! ...

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Calling your penis a chose because it's small and fat.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet,

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Why couldn't John go to the store for his mother? He had no legs...

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Why was the boy sad? Because his mother and father had just disowned him.

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Why did the man drown in the bath? He was a quadriplegic and couldn't support himself above the water.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Go fuck yourself.

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Why can't Stuart post a joke? Because he is using a giant iphone

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I saw a black dude eating fried chicken a white guy said he wanted some but the black guy said don't put your white mayonnaise on my fried delicious KFC fried chicken

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Finding TWO worms in your apple.

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A man walks into a bar he's drunk and can't feel it But he's ok

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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