Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

Why did Jorge eat Larry's face? He was on bath salt.

Who cured cancer? Not God. What do you think of the almighty now?

Q. Whats Red and yellow and has braces? A.Pierre-Louis

Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

A chink walks into a bar. She is spotted by the secret police and instantly deported. Vote UKIP

what is the best way to start a car? put in the key and turn it.

Who was at the door when Helen Keller answered? She doesn't know

so your snowboarding in the dessert and all four of your tires pop. how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house. the answer is B. 500 squids

roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

Why did the boy cut his hair? Because he was large.

Johnny: One day dad i will be tall like you! (Later that day johnny was found dead in a garbage bag)

what do you give a little girl with no arms no legs and who lives in a orfanidge for christmas?.................................... nothing because no parent wants a freak kid

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

jim davidson , nick griffin , and bernard manning walk into a bar , and order a bitter, a lager, and a stout respectfully

Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

here's a joke... the american education society

Your mothers so ugly that when memory sees her it says " Damn-it I hate my job!

What do u call a bunch of white dudes siting on a bench ......the NBA

How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

What is the street value of Amy Winehouse's ashes? Nothing. They are ashes, not drugs.

The other day I went to the holocaust museum and it was horrible No air conditioning or cold drinks

A guy walks into a bar and hears a someone crying. He asks the bartender who is crying and the bartender says "It's my goat. He's been crying since Tuesday, I'm giving a $500 reward to whoever can make him stop." So the man walks to the back and whispers something to the goat's ear and suddenly the goat starts laughing. The bartender was so amazed at what happened and says "Wow, thank you kind sir! Here's your reward money." and the man takes the money and leaves. The next day the man returns to the bar and the bartender says "Hey, ever since you made my goat laugh he hasn't stopped. He's been driving me nuts. I'll give you another $500 to make him stop." So again, the man goes to the back of the bar and whispers to the the goats ear. Suddenly, the goat start crying again. The bartender can't believe it. He asks "How in the world did you do that? What did you say to my goat?" The man says "Well the first time I saw your goat I told him a joke." "Okay, that explains why he kept laughing..." the bartender asks "Now, what did you say to make him cry?" The man replies "I told him..." Suddenly the goat escapes and goes completely crazy and kills everybody in the bar with his horns. Till this day no one knows what the man said to the goat.

You are so ugly that when you were born the doctor didn't say anything to your mother because he has social manners.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...