Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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Who would win, Chuck Norris or a T-Rex? The T-Rex, Chuck Norris would get ripped apart like any other human-being.

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What is Green and smells like Yellow Paint Green Paint

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Q: Whats the difference between nude pics and your mom? A: I can wackk off to nude pics

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I agree to the terms and conditions

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Yup, I mean we use all of your techniques and all things considered the messages end up looking pretty much the same, as if the same person had written them, Azure is named Carlos, and well, he is pretty much a computer wiz so you have nothing to worry about.

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Yo mama so poor that she's having trouble making ends meet without government assistance.

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Q. If you have 4 pencils and I have 7 apples, how many pancakes can we fit on the roof? A. Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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What happened when the Asian girl got a B on her report card? She committed suicide

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why does breanna love pie? BECAUSE ITS JIMMYS LAST NAME

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Why did the airplane crash into the ocean? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A man walks in to a bar, He sits down and enjoys a pint.

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why couldn't the blind man hear? because he was also deaf.

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Why was the fat lady on the Medicine ball? Because she was fat!

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender New Doritos Dip

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why did they bury bin laden at sea? because he died

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Q: Knock Knock!?! A: Lettem' in!!!!

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How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

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What's worse than being a Jew in the Holocaust? Nothing.

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Actually it was me Josh brown

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have five fingers The third one's for you

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Theres an app for the iPhone.

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What is worst then a blond trying to pass collage?....... There is nothin wrong with that

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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