Where did the girl go after the explosion? Everywhere

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What's brown, smelly, and will never have a job? Poop.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cement is grey, Shoes are myriad colors, but usually white, black, or brown, depending on their use, And I love you.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse then the Holocaust? Two Holocausts

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Roses are red Violets are blue Trash gets dumped Just like you

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Why did they name the team mavericks and why Was the maskot a horse? Because 50 years ago they found a blue horse And its name was maverick

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You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me!

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Two tomatoes where crossing the road, when one of them barely avoided being run over. The other said, come on tomato!

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What happens when you finish a bottle of Sprite? You finish it

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What's the difference between a dead dog and a dead black man on the road? One's a dog and one is a man, but more importantly the differences shouldn't be noted in a miserable occasion such as this as both are unfortunate tragedies. Also, one has a big penis.

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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-Your mom worked as a prostitute and died a virgin.

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Why'd the dead man cross the road? He didn't, he was dead, therefore incapable of doing anything at all.

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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Two kiwis are in a fridge. Suddenly, the door opens, and one of them is pulled out by a human hand. He was never to be seen again.

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What do you call a black astronaut? An astronaut you racist

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What did you the blonde death amuptee child get for Christmas? Cancer.

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The $5.00 Foot-long at Subway's is actually $5.45 due to tax.

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Do you know what lmnop is? No. A group of five consecutive letters.

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why is coltin alexander such a duche? because no one loves him

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Why did Bob drop his ice cream? Because he got hit with a super models TIttys

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what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies?

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while having sex, the boy asked, "how many ears do elephants have?" his father answered, "two"

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Karen was an average high-schooler. When she got home she often went online to chat with strangers. One day she started chatting with a nice girl named Jami. They really got along, Karen could tell Jami all of her secrets. One day, Karen decided to met her new friend at a local park without telling her parents. When she arrived she discovered the gruesome truth about Jami. Jami wasn't in high-school. She was a ten-foot tall, vicious, velociraptor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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