A man walks in to a bar, He sits down and enjoys a pint.

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There are two cows in a field. One cow says to the other - 'Are you afraid of the mad cow disease?' The other cow says - 'No, cuz I'm a duck.'

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it, they aren't going to come.

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What's worse than losing your job? 9/11

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A man driving through a thunderstorm said, "look, it's rain, dear." His wife, being a reindeer, took offense to that statement.

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What's black, white and red all over? A dead panda

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what did the British horse say to the man who owned him? nothing all he sad was neigh.

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How many baby's does it take to paint a wall Depends on how hard you throw them

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We are here to inform you that your daughter has died in a drunk driving accident.

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What falls down but never gets hurt? A professional stuntman wearing protective gear.

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That's funnier than a zebra climbing the Eiffel tower with Bill Clinton on the 4th night of quanza

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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Knock knock The boy doesn't answer because it's dangerous to open your door to strangers while home alone.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witnesses, can we have a moment of your time?

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's orange and sticky? An orange. What's red and sticky? My stool - is that normal?

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My three children are three big mistakes.

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If you place a dog next to a cow, they're not the same size

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What does a duck have in common? The further it flies the more.

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A: Why are black people so good at sports? B: Practice and determination.

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So I says to the guy "take the money and run." He then takes my money and walks down the street.

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What do Lebron James and Bill Murray have in common? They are both black basketball players. Except for bill murray

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What do you call 5,000 black people at the bottom of the ocean? A large quantity of African Americans who drowned to their death in the sea.

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Why did the cow cross the road? He probably saw a delicious looking patch of grass on the otherside.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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