- Anti Joke

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares? Seriously, who, on this planet, bothers to care about such a trivial matter? Is it really that important to you that must be given clarification as to why a random bird species just happened to cross a road? Will knowing benefit your life in some fashion? Well I'd like to know how. Ha! Perhaps you feel that, if you have the answer revealed to you, it will give you extra guidance of some sort in raising a chicken as a pet, or training a chicken to perform tricks for an animal contest, or something along those lines. Well I'm afraid you are out of luck, as I will not tell you. By reading this passage, you are wasting so much precious time. As you keep reading, seconds pass and you only waste more. You could be doing so much more with your life right now. Instead, you could be studying a topic that you might need to be knowledgeable about in the future. You could be shopping for goods. You could be painting a nice picture, writing a short story, or composing a piece of music. You could be getting exercise, or cleaning your house, or spending time with family, or even raising money for charity. There are countless meaningful tasks that you could be carrying out which would benefit you and others around you, including those who are less fortunate than you. But no. Instead you choose to do nothing, reading useless and forgettable anti-jokes on a crummy website, with a strange, fruitless desire of knowing why a chicken crossed a road. You must have such a sad life. You know what? I pity you, so I have decided that I will tell you why the chicken crossed the road. But only if you want to know. You might not want to know by this point. Do you still want to know? Are you sure you do? Are you really, really sure? Because I'm gonna tell you, regardless. Just keep reading! Don't take your eyes off the screen! You will find out exactly why the chicken crossed the road in 3... 2...1... and here we go! Ready, kids? The chicken crossed the road because... because... because... whoops, actually, I forgot. Sorry.

Why aren't there any black flesh-colored bandages? Good question.

What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

why dont you hit a black kid on a bike? its probably your bike.

Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Radley.

boling water: why is it taking so long for you to get hard? egg: sorry, it's just because i recently got laid by a chick.

What did Helen Keller say to her friend? Nothing. If you didn't know, she was deaf and blind so she had to use Sign Language.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a woman

You're so vein you are probably a tube that conveys blood from various parts of the body to the heart.

Ehh

A tortoise went for a run. It took him two hours to get around the corner.

Please don't shoot me

Why did the President fall down? He was assassinated. -mattobrado

Why didn't the boy answer the phone when it was ringing? Because he had no arms to pick it up.

What do you call a dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him he ain't gonna come.

So God answered a paralyzed boy's prayer the other day...He said 'No'

If woman that have big breasts work at Hooters, then do woman with one leg work at Ihop?

RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

What's worse than the holocaust? The holocaust was one of the most terrible incidents in history there are very few things worse than.

Why was the clown sad? Because he was found guilty of raping and murdering 33 young men, and sentenced to death for 12 of those murders by a jury of his piers.

who holds the world record for longest amount of time on fire? Jim Rome

Why are rich guys gay? Because they can afford to be

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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