Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

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Knock, Knock.. Whose there? Its the Census Man!!

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Uhh, yeah, some of it, I mean people never looked me in the eyes on the buss really, I dunno,if you think I am pretty maybe it is just your opinion or something, but thanks, you are hones and its nice. Never been out drinking, I am you know, kinda nerdy, I just prefer hanging out with friends at home.

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Why did the girl go to the hospital? Her brother dared her to jump off the second story roof of their house...

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Penis

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What do Grant and Lee have in common? They're both black males

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What did one door say to the other door? Nothing, cause doors don't talk.

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Why did the gay guy go in the bar? To find some hookers

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What do you call a man who beats his adopted, black children? A terrible person.

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why didnt the man go to the wedding? he wasnt invited.

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What happens when a toad is struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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HEY YOU! TISSUE!

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What's an AntiJoke? A joke that has no comical value.

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- Knock Knock - Who is it ? - I'm a Jehovah witness - Sorry, I don't know anyone by the name of "a Jehovah witness". Bye.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Charles Grodin. Charles Grodin who? Exactly.

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head on into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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Teacher: which vegetable makes your eyes water? Student: Any vegetable. Teacher: How? Student: Just rub any vegetable in your eyes and see what happens.

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Aye I heard somethin about yo mom WAT!!!!!!!!! She a bop

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A woman is terminally ill in the hospital and her family is trying to decide what her last meal should be. Her older sister suggests tea and the idea is accepted enthusiastically. The other sister suggests making jasmin tea and the ill woman's son also suggests toast. The woman's husband looks down at the orange he had just peeled for his wife and looks up at the rest of them. moments later he shoots the three of them and then himself. All were found dead. http://www.dispatch.com/content/stories/local/2012/01/11/food-tiff-ends-in-deaths.html

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I really want to know something would all of you like to go on Suspension for 3 weeks? Mr Goodwin

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One scientist is talking to another scientist. One say "what's the matter?" The other replies "my family is dead"

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What's hard when you eat a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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What is one similarity between John Samos, and the dreadful clown? they have a red nose and are payed to be funny, aside from John Samos!

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Q. what has 2 tums and a boner. A. a horny guy <3

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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