Not gonna tell you, that was one weird story, I feel like super high right now.

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Once upon a time Jimmy was walking home from school. Jimmy was then confronted by a a pedophile so he suddenly ate himself.

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how many dead babies can you fit into a bath tub i dont know i didnt get the chance to fill it up yet

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What did the prison inmate get for Christmas? A warm chair to sit in

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What do you say to a man who just gave you a million dollars. thank you

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*Wear a Mario costume* What happened to Luigi? I ate him.

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How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

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Why didn't the Irishman walk into the bar? Beacause he had killed himself the previous night as a result of his alcoholism.

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Its not a big mistake at all, if people do not want to get hypnotized you cant hypnotize them, or so I thought...

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why did the guy laugh at everything he was high

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What do you do when you're given a phonebook? You ask for their name.

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A man walked into my repair shop asking why his TV didn't work. I told him it was broken.

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Q:How do you kill an Elephant? A:With an Elephant gun Q:How do you kill a blue Elephant? A:With a blue Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a purple Elephant? A:With a purple Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a red Elephant? A:There is no such thing.

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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How do you drown a blond? You hold her underwater.

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theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

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what did spiderman say before he saved mary jane? ill save you mary jane.

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what would you get if you combined a sixth grader with a machine gun? A homophobe

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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why couldn't the little boy sleep? he was being tortured.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Eat a d!ck you sh!t fukk! I'm going have to ask you leave now

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What if I told you.....potatoe

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what happend when the magic man touched fire? He got burnt screamed in my ear and died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops