A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper doesn't respond because he is a grasshopper and therefore can't talk.

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What is better than life? Nothing.

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What's an anti joke? Then I ate my digestive biscuit.

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Knock knock Who's there. Interrupting cow, sorry you can see where this is going, just let me in without asking any more questions please.

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Why did the girl not get her mum a christmas present? Because she was adopted to two men when she was born, so it would be hard to give her mum a present...............................................

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but so

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Knock knock? Whose there? Colin Come in

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What's the difference between a pessimist and a magnet? One is made of flesh and can talk, think and do things. The other is made of metal and can only pull things towards itself or push them away. But strangely, the latter is a lot more welcome in most situations.

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How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

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whats funnier then a joke on anit jokes pracitcally anything cause anti jokes repaeats and everyone has herd them

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What do Whitney Houston and Selena Gomez have in common? They are both dead. Exept for Selena Gomez..

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How do you beat a black in sports. "shot him when the game starts"

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josh sucks polish adams dick

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i don't hate you because your fat ...your fat because i hate you

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What do you call a man with no arms? Disabled... some people can be so cruel.

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How do you make a black guy cry? You kill his family.

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im gay

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what do you call a tall black man with big ears? orangatang

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Obama being re-elected

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Why was David enjoying his cream of mushroom soup? Because David had spent the last 17 days eating flouescent light fix-ins.

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What's the difference bettween the holocaust and a bee, 6 million jews died during the holocaust. Bees make honey.

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Why was the man in a great deal of pain? Because he was hit in the face with a sack of potatoes.

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A Vietnam war veteran accidentally goes to a Vietnamese concert and says, "I could take a lot of them down with me."

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What did the marshmallow say to the other marshmallow? We are both bananas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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