Chuck Norris tried to return some jeans to Target and when they didn't give him his money he kickeed them in the face.

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Woman:I give my Heart to You! Man:Thank You!!! The Woman then dies because one can't live without a heart

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How do Yankees fans cheer for their favorite sports team? Let's go Yankees!

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What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a pair of scissors? Nothing. That's not possible with current technology.

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An irish man and a lebanese man jump off a cliff who wins? No one it wasnt a race

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Why was the little boy crying? Because a stranger shoved explosives up his butthole.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE I LIKE TITS TITS

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The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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anti jokes are really funny

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What happened when the blonde girl threw a grenade? The enemy pulled the pin and threw it back

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what did the African kid get for his birthday AIDS

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A: Rock! B:Paper! C: Siccorz! D: Shoot! D: Jimmy, you alright buddy? I didn't mean for that bullet to hit you man..

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What did hitler get for christmas??? Roughly 3 million dead jews in the ashtray

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What's the difference between a ferrari and pile of dead babies? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walk briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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What is 33 + 1? Penis

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Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looking for food for it was starving to death.

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I got into an argument with my friend the other day. He contested that the onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I beat his wife to death with a coconut,

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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