Haha, I get it..

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blow job I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

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here's a chuck norris fact: Chuck Norris is 5'10 and lost to bruce lee!

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What Do you call two black guys on a bike? A two person bike

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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What do you call nuts on a wall? Walnuts. What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts. What do you call nuts on your chin My dick in your mouth.

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fuck you you punkass piece of shit I hope you burn in my uncle's titties and ass rape yourself while screaming "make it stop!'. Then, I hope that you take a titanic needle and shove it up your lower kidney until it tears open and all your bodily fluids spill out into an ocean of shit. Also, I have 73 balls with a ballsack for each ball. So, I have 73 ballsacks.

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What do you call an asian plumber? A plumber.

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A one armed blond is in a tree, how to you get her to come down? You wave to her?

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What do Michael Jackson and most Catholic priests have in common? They're dead.

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There are two muffins in an oven neither can say anything at the moment, however, because both are in excruciating pain.

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Why did the clock say 10:30? It was a digital clock!

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Guess what Timmy got for Christmas, Nothing, Timmy has no parents, he's an orphan.

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Q- Why? A- Why not?

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You're tearing apart, Lisa!

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an irishman an american and a jihadist get a plane were did they go right through my house

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A:how many notzies dose it change a light bulb B:none they made the jewish do it. :(

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Why did the boy find love? because if the girl did not love her he would kill her

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What did the transvestite say to the hypochondriac? "Ever been to Toledo?"

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Whats green and has wheels?? - Grass, I lied about the wheels

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why did billy fall on the sidewalk? he got stabbed

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How do you catch a unique animal? You get professional hunters to catch the animal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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