Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

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2 beavers enter a bar, destroy all the stool legs, and leave.

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Two birds were sitting on a perch, one turned and said to the other, "Do you smell fish?"

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How do you make an idiot in suspense?

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How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe

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What do you call a black man and a black woman having sex? A husband and wife who love each other very much and are trying to have a baby.

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a red corvette? i don't have a red corvette in my garage

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A horse walks into a bar and Shits John Taffer is Pissed

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A Jew and a Muslim are playing golf. Just not together.

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If rocks were people, what would you call a bunch of marble rolling down a hill? Rocks don't have the ability to be people.

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Man I just flew in from Pittsburgh...Boy are the people ugly.

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Why did the toddler fall in the pool? He was irresponsibly left unattended outside and tripped on the edge of the pool. He died within two minutes and his parents were blamed for his death.

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What did Tom get for his 5th Birthday ? Nothing, he died when he was 2 years old

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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how do you kill a bird? tie it to a tree throw a wasp nest at it and run the tree over with a semi filled with manure

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What did the Unicorn do with the Portal gun? Nothing. Neither of them are real.

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My favorite part of the movie Frozen is when the parents die.

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So an irish man walks into a bar, 10 seconds later he is dead. What happened was there was a sharp piece of metal on the bar so is cut his throat and he bleed to death.

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Why wasn't the drunk driver arrested when he killed a man? Because he died as well.

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What would you call Kenny Dalgleish if he was black? Depends on the situation. In a formal environment you would call him Mr Dalgleish, in an informal one it would be acceptable to call him Kenny, Kenneth or just Ken.

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why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

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Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

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Q: what's green and fluffy? A: green fluff

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even a blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then. but has a high probability of getting hit by a car and slowly dying from crushed limbs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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