What`s that CREAM that comes out of you when your mom puts a WHIP on you with a switch? WHIP CREAM!

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Moose A: What do you call a moose with diapers on its head? Moose B: Me.

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Q: How do you keep a blond occupied for an hour? A: You write "flip over" on both sides of a blank piece of paper.

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Three men were lost in a desert when a genie appeared and granted them each a wish. they died of dehydration shortly afterward, never realizing they were hallucinating.

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An elephant walked into a bar. By bar I mean jungle. Elephants aren't capable of walking into a bar.

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Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

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Why couldn't the prostitute give a proper blow job..... She had no lips

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Lol XD,now that is bad ass of you to say that, what about her, does she get to go around too?

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I like touching my boobs

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Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

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A Muslim walks into a bar. No-one survived the blast.

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why did the guy round second base? to get to 3rd

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When you have read this, you've already read it.

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A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

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Why did lisa fall of her bike? Because her dad threw a refrigerator at her. -JCB

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Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car, Robin.

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Why does 1+1=2? Dunno, e-mail me if you do.

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender can you throw me a beer and the bartender says yes and he throws him the beer and the man says I can't catch I have the smallest hands in the world and the bartender says go across the street there is a guineas book of world record store an check if you h e the smallest hands and he does so the next day he goes back and asks for another beer and the bartender throws him a beer and say I cant catch cause I have the smallest feet in the world and he goes across the street and checks and he does and then the third day he goes back to the bar and asks for a beer and the bartendor throws him another beer and says I can't catch I have the smallest penis in the world so he goes to the guiness book o world record store and then goes bac to the bar and asks..... Who's austin bell?????

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GOODBYE

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What do you call a homeless man in Beverly Hills? Charles, Someone who unfortunately had to drop out of school at a young age to work to support his dying mother. Hence, later in life, after his mother died, lacked the education to be enrolled in college forcing him to pimp to make enough money to eat and pay for the rent in his one bedroom appartment in his hometown-Mississippi. But times were tough in Mississippi and not many people could afford a whore. This forces him to go all the way to California where he found more people there were willing to pay for a whore. Business was good and soon enough he had enough money for a decent condo. But Charles still morned the death of his mother. Eventually he couldn't take the daily pressure of being a pimp and thought of his mothers death, so he turned to heroin. Soon all his money was fueling his addiction and before he knew it he was on the street, with no one to help him and no where's to go. Every night he goes to sleep on his cardboard box with the memory of his late mother in the back of his head. Sometimes Charles wonders what he could of been if he didn't drop out of school, but he knows that what he did was the right thing.

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What happens when you mix bleach and ammonia? You eventually die of respiratory failure from inhaling chlorine gas and possibly an exploding toilet.

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A brunette, redhead, and a blond were on a road trip when their car broke down in the middle of a desert. The red-head offered to walk down the road to get help, for none of them knew how to repair the car. She walked down the road in the direction they were headed, but never came back. The redhead and blond died several days later in the shade of the car as a result of extensive heat exhaustion.

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"Is your fridge running?" "Yes, I believe so" "You'd better go make sure, because I put some chicken in there and it didn't seem very cold to me"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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