Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

hey bruno ta quoi ds ta boite a lunch aujourdhui? DU SABLE CRISS DE POVRE!

What did the boy ask the ice cream man? Can I have some ice cream?

How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Through forceful action.

What do you call a woman outside of the kitchen? Out of place.

Why did a 36 year old Asian man stop in the middle of raping someone A: He realized that what he was doing was immoral and that it could scar someone for the rest of there lives and that he could serve a sentence of up to 35 years which would mean he would miss out on the special offers that QVC has to offer during this time

What do you call a black man at KFC? A customer.

What did Washington say to California? WC

Why does Michael J. Fox have a good handshake? He has a firm grip

What's worse than getting a apple and finding a worm in it. Getting hit in the face with a meteorite.

Q: Holy do you get a nun pregnant? A: You have sexual intercourse with her, and have an orgasm inside her body. Also, in vitro fertilization is a viable, albeit expensive, alternative for couples who have difficulty conceiving by standard intercourse.

Why did Billy fall over? Because someone tripped him.

what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

how do you get a nun pregnant? have unprotected SEX with her, resulting in expulsion from her convent

What happens when a man farts a fancy memorial party in a ball room in England... At least 1000 people die somewhere on earth in the time his butt squeezed out that fart. And I'm sure someone gets raped.

Not gonna tell you, that was one weird story, I feel like super high right now.

What happens to an elephant when it rains? It gets wet.

the power to turn magnetism into light

what did the boy with cancer want for christmas? a gun

What did the person say to the other person? "Hello."

A man walks into a bar, muttering to himself. People stare at him because his severe Schizophrenia makes him stand out in social situations.

knock knock whos there? your dr you have cancer

why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom T H E R E ' R E A L L D E A D!!!

Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have multi-personality disorder. Patient: Which one of us?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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