Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

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why did the baby cross the road? he was stapled to the chicken

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The optimist sees the glass as half full. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. The average American sees a half-finished glass of water that is not flavored and is therefore is not worth any reasonable person's time.

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whats fat round and mentally special? PeterPanMyHero!

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Jokes Ki Duniya

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Why was young Timmy Crying? Unfortunately he had a very rare but serious heart condition and he would probably die within a week.

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Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

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two muffins are in a oven the one muffin says jee its hot in here and the other muffin says wow a talking muffin

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What's got eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs head.

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What do you say to a fat guy working out congrat him and tell him he's doing a great job and keep up the work

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What's worse than cancer? Nothing.

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If you have a dinosaur, how many bicycles do you need to do your homework? Yes, because chewing gums would ask if Greg can go to the handball match.

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knock knock no no you go now i clean

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I have a riddle. What's black and white and red all over? Nothing. That's impossible.

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hi dave

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how do you hurt sombody? cut off their legs.

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What should you do when you're constipated? Poop.

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Your momma's so not fat that when a school bus rolled by here house, she just sat there and turned on oprah.

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Q What did Stevens mum say when he asked to be an astronaut A no your heads too big

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SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKY’S. PRETTY MUCH USELESS BUT MAKE YOU SMILE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN THE STAIRS. Source: http://www.pingzic.com/funny-whatsapp-status-to-make-others-laugh/

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dont be afraid of lard squeezing cause really its just me teasing

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Jumping out of an airplane without a parachute is a once in a lifetime expeirence.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food?? Neither have they...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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