What's a foot long and slippery? A slipper.

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a man was shot.... he died

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Why should you never trust anglers? Because they're always into fishy business... Why should you never trust hunters? Because they carry loaded guns...

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Why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory? She made skittles.

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Yo mama is so fat that she is in a diet and wants to lose weight by eating healthy.

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Why did the black man buy fried chicken? Because it wasn't free.

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What's worse than stabbing your eye with a fork? Stabbing both your eyes with a fork.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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A. What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew: B. Pizza's don't scream when you put them into a oven.

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Why was the elf sad Because a polar bear ate his family

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did you know helen keller had a dog? neither did she....

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If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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As a kid I was always told that school would get me good places. As an adult, I have found that there is another thing that gets you into a good place. Shrooms.

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pauls tuck

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Your mother is so fat that when she looks in the mirror she is deeply upset by her appearance.

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Why doesn't Caillou have hair? Because he has cancer.

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One time, as a dare, John was forced to eat 5 king size chocolate bars, 3 cakes, 8 Oreo Milkshakes, and 7 packages of Krispy Kreme Donuts. As a result, John has diabetes.

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Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

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What do you call an giraffe? Well, you should probably call it a giraffe if you want people to think you are literate and know your grammar.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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PLEASE HELP IM TRAPPED IN SOME GUYS HOUSE PLEASE SOMEBODY HAS TO SEE THIS IF I TEXT HE WILL SEE IT IM AT

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women and girls can really get enjoyment out of sex. it's not really about controlling the man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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