Knock Knock. (No answer) Knocker: " I guess the resident of this home isn't home at this hour."

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, floating in the ocean? A victim of the increasingly violent Mexican drug cartels.

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How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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Why did the girl cry? She got hit by a bus.

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Which is better; having a billion dollars or a trillion dollars? Trick Question, you aren't that rich.

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The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action

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Your text.

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What did the meteorologist say when there was tornado? There is a tornado 7 miles West of the station.

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Whats red but smells like blue paint? Red paint

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A man walks in to a bar and everyone screamed running out the door.

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Why did the creeper not go home? Because his parents blew up. (As told by a 7 year old.)

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Knock Knock Who's there? 20 20 Who? 24

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A man watched his city burn. He was traumatized by the loss of his friends and family and went to therapy to recover.

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What do you call a piece of Swiss cheese with human characteristics? Abnormal.

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Why was New Zealand attacked by Australia? New Zealand attacked Australia due to a teritorial dispute. The war lasted for 3 years with over 150000 deaths.

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What happens when an antijoke and a joke comes together? Unicorns mate with Neil Patrick Harris

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Why was the Jewish man celebrating cinco de mayo? Because he likes other cultures and Mexican food Except pork

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Man 1: Not to be gay or anything, but I really like your shirt, it looks nice on you. Man 2: Not to be gay or anything, but I like men.

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A three-legged prostitute, a coal miner, and R. Kelly walk into an all-midget rendition of Stravinsky's Rite of Spring. The miner has a heart attack and dies. The concubine and the vocalist do nothing to help.

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Why did the man run over Suzy? He was a serial killer

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Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

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I love it when i go into my classroom first thing in the morning, and the light are off... i always feel so Empowered... i walk in, and say Let There Be Light! while i lift my arms up and there was light.... omg! im god! O_O

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: He had no arms Q: Why did the frog fall out of the tree? A: He was stapled to the monkey's face

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What is worst than 1 baby dead in a microwave? 2 babies dead in the same microwave !

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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