What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Nothing, he was in tremendous pain.

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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Leave. Now.

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Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

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what happens when a dog and a cat have sex? They create a beautiful baby that ends up dieing from cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because humans do not have the capability of accessing the chickens brain to receive their knowledge and what they were thinking about in the past.

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Q:Why are dinosaurs extinct? A:Well there are two reasons the first being a giant meteor struck the earth killing all the dinosaurs. The other reason you touch yourself at night.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? George. George who? Oh sorry, I thought this was number 52. my mistake.

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How do you punish Hellen Keller Move the furniture around

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What's worse than Hitler killing six million Jews? All of the Jews. --ZeNaziGermanDoctior

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What's straight and famous. Ryan Secrest I was just kidding about the stright

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An englishman, a german and a ginger are in a band. they play some creative music that some people may find enjoyable to listen to and would like to purchase a track.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you look like a product of incest

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A man walks in to a bar, and the Bartender says "Why the long face?" The man replies "My wife is dying of Terminal Cancer".

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Did you know that if you get all your intestines, and laid it out across the floor in a line, you would die?

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Read in a Jersey accent: SOOOOOO my friend __________ saw this coffee shop in new jersey! He was like.... i love coffee why dont they give it to me for free???? The man at the coffee shop Killed me! that is why coffee is not free!

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Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

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WHat is funnier than a baby swimming. - A baby drowing.!

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What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

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What do you call a guy with an ax in his chest? An ambulance.

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What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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How do you kill a blonde woman? Shoot her in the head

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How do you know when a bag of chips is stale? It is past the expiration date.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops