What screams when you poke it? A rape alarm.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what is orange and sounds like a parrot a carrot

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A Haiku It Is This One Is Kind Of Boring Now It's Time For Bed

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I literally died laughing

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the fat girl mean when she said, " last night was amaziing?" that pizza pie you shared was very well crafted and baked

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What does the lifeguard do on his free time? Ejaculate.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what's gray, red, and goes over a 100 mph? a toad in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A elephant drowns when it was swimming, why did this happen? Who cares its already dead!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is the weirdest way to get AIDS Having Sex

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What has 4 legs in the morning, 2 legs at noon, and 3 legs in the afternoon? A dog that got its hind legs chopped off, and then only got 1 prosthetic one.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why is Obama black Because his parents were black

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock knock (who's there) Orange ( orange who) orange you glad to see

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's brown and red? I lied about the red, it's dirt.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than having a spiked club shoved up your butthole? Not much.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the police officer say to the bank robber? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for you at government expense.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what did the teacher say to his student? do your work.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops