I was walking down a railway line the other day... I was fined £1000

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What did the teenage girl text her friend while driving? It doesn't matter, she's dead now. Don't text and drive.

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Whats the same between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple except for the elephant

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-Why was little Johnny sad? >Why? -Because he had a frog stapled to his forehead.

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What did Michael Jackson say to the little boys before they came to his house? Get on the ferris wheel

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

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What did the dinosaur say to the caveman? Nothing. Dinosaurs were wiped off the earth due to a tragic, world wide extinction about 65 million years ago while small mammals which would eventually evolve into humans survived.

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Why is the deer afraid of the hunter? Because he doesn't want to get shot.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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If god himself had a religion he would be a self centered bastard.

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What does these 3 words all have in common? terrifiant, hrollvekjandi, Przera?aj?ce They all mean the same thing describing Ian! CREEPY

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Can midgets still have big dreams?

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what is orange and sounds like a parrot a carrot

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Whats white and goes up? a confused snowflake

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What do you call a cow lying on a barn floor? A cow

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Knock knock, "Whos there" a business man who wants to sell you things that you don't need "Oh, go away"

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Why is the man's nose bleeding? Because I punched him in the nose. He looked at me funny.

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What do you call a lawyer without a brain? -Dead

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Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

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What happens when a man runs naked into a bank? He doesn't get service because he isn't wearing shoes or a shirt

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Why is 13 the most hated number? 13 is Jewish.

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when you smile the whole world stops and stares for a while because you have one tooth and its half chipped.. and your a black mexican red head.

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aodhan hearty

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. sama bin laden, is coming for you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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