Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What'd the mexican get for his birthday, birthday cards from his friends and family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Crossing Guard union had reached a collective agreement and they had returned to work and it was safe to cross once again.

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What do you say if you see a floating TV at night? Wow a floating TV. It's amazing how far technology has progressed throughout the years.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "why the long face" The bartender then sees the horse's broken leg and proceeds to buy him a free drink.

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Why did the gir fall off of the swing? She had no arms.

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Do you know what's sad about 4 black men driving off a cliff in a convertible? They were my friends.

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Breaydn Simmons walked into a bar

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Why are kids with Aspergers Syndrome always banned from Mcdonalds? Let me repeat that: Ass Burgers.

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A mormon walks into a bar. The Bartender says "What can I get you" The Mormon says "Sparkling Water please. In my religion we don't drink alcohol."

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A woman sees a sign on a store that says "husbands for sale." Curious, she walks inside. The clerk says "These men will be perfect husbands, they'll cook and clean for you and see to your every need." Shocked, the woman calls the police and reports the store for human trafficking.

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There once was a man from Kentuckit, who like to dissapear with his dog and clean up the shit using a plastic bag and put it in the allocated public bin.

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What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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How do you make a dog drink? Put one in a blender.

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A paralysed man falls over.

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Why did the baby stop laughing? Would you if you pooped your pants?

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Whats the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? The Porsche isn't in my garage

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Knock knock. Who's there? The mailman. I don't believe you.

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knock knock who's there boo boo who why are you crying it's just a joke

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Why did the blond check your phone? AIDS

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Q:why did the guy go to the doctor? A:I dunno, he must have gone for a good reason

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Why does the Gay guy have a bell on his bike? Because its the only way his blind dog can follow him.

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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Why did the sailor fall off the boat? Because vampires arent real.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops