Why is the man's nose bleeding? Because I punched him in the nose. He looked at me funny.

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What's the thing that freaks guys out the most? When you're about to have sex with a girl and it turns out she had a penis and it's bigger than yours

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? One second let me count them.

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knock knock! who's there? me.(walks away...)

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chuck norris does not know how to use a plunger.

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What was wrong with the tomato? Nothing.

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no pen = no studying no studying = bad grades bad grades = no job no job = no money no money = no food no food = death DON'T LOSE YOUR PEN

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Bro my d*ck is like 20 inches. That's not healthy, an erection that big will deprive your brain of too much blood and kill you

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What do you call a blonde who passed the SAT's? An excellent student.

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Knock Knock Whos there? John John Who Tic Tic BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM

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What do you call a Ku Klux Klan member who has been set on fire? Burnt Marshmallow.

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How do you confuse a bus driver? Go invisible and throw bananas at him

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So a boy walks into a bar. He broke his arm and now is severly crippled

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Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

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I spilled spot remover on my dog, now hes gone.

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What's black, white, and red all over? An African American and Caucasian man painting a house with red paint and accidentally spilling some on themselves

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Daughter: Dad I have some news for you Dad: What is it? Daughter: I am pregnant Dad: ... I am so happy I am going to have a grandson, my 27 year old daughter just married and now pregnant, this is a great day!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because KFC was hiring

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Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

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Can midgets still have big dreams?

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Despite their parents wishes, two teenagers under the age of 18 tried multiplying. Their answer was 27.

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A mother had three kids: 1st kid- “Mom, why did you name me Daisy?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a daisy fell on your head.” 2nd kid- “Mommy, why did you name me Rose?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a rose fell on your head.” 3rd kid- “Blahblahblahflismdjsk” *makes retarded noises* Mom- “SHUT UP BRICK!”

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there are two muffins in an oven. one says "its getting hot in here". the other says " oh my gosh!!! its a talking muffin!!!"

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what do you call a Mexican driving a plane? a pilot you were probably to racist to work that out

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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