What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

Hey I'm a poet and I didn't even realize that I was a poet

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

Two muffins are sitting in an oven they say nothing to eachother because they are muffins and cannot speak if they did they would most likely be taken by the US government and studied and assumed to be alien life forms but anyway the muffins were taken out later and presumably eaten

Sometimes an alligator will bring you apples. Sometimes it won't.

What is the difference between a black man and a piece of fried chicken? Fried chicken is a breaded meal that is high in calories whereas a black man is an unedible human being with feelings.

Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes

"Mommy! Look, I found a turtle!" "that's no turtle." "Oh..."

Q) What do you get when you cross a brown chicken with a brown cow? A) An abomination

How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? You can't

A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

I know a black person. His name is Mikey.

Whats funnier than a dead baby? a dead baby in a clown costume!!!

Once, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end

What's is the worst thing america has done? Jersey Shore, We mad those idiots rich.

How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

Holocaust jokes aren't funny

Why was the prison full of black people? Because they were all their for security internships.

I am going to school I live in Ohio, but I'm at Germany How do I do it? I'm a blonde, nobody knows

Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell.

Yo momma is So Fat? And isn't your cousin Chow Yun Fat? I think I know some of the Fat family. How are they all doing?

Why did the boy run a marathon? because one of his good friends had just earlier passed away from pancreatic cancer and he decided to honor his memory by raising money through a 5k run. His family, friends and acquantances were all very proud of him and decided to hold the charity every year.

If life throws you fried chicken your probably black

Little Susie fell of the swings. Where did she go? On the ground.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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