What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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In a tangential universe Crispin Glover is the head of scientology

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure

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How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

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Why did the chicken not make it across the road? Because he got hit by a transport.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? I don't know, that's why I was asking.

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What was the asian person's name? I don't know, I never met him.

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a little kid goes as candle for halloween, 69 girls blew him teenage boy goes as candle for halloween, all he got was burned

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What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

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Little Jack Horner sat in a corner, Dead.

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Why did the crossing guard drop his whistle? Because a kid got hit by a passing elephant.

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That dress looks amazing on you considering how fat you are.

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whats brown and has a head? A: my penis

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what does 1 out of 15 people get cancer

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why do police kill so many young black men in America? it's a difficult question that deserves a thoughtful response. many complex issues are at play, but we also feel a sense that something must be done. we cannot ignore some of the forces at work here, yet we cannot all personally take responsibility, either. or maybe he wanted to steal his girl. that shit really happens. THAT SHIT LEGIT HAPAPNES.

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Two black guys are in a car. Who is driving? One of the black guys.

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Why did the Nun refude to say Thank You Father? Because she was raped by her father as a child.

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There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Assuming the fact that these children are in fact deceased, it would be highly inprobable that they could perform any task. Or that they would need to see any light at all, since the point of that dark room is to keep them concealed.

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A wife asks her husband to treat her like she's special. So he tells her, "Gooooooooooo... Maaaaaaaaaaaaake... Meeeeeeee.... Aaaaaa.... Saaaaaaaandwitch

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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What red, white, and blue? A white person who was raped by a clown.

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What's the difference between a melon? One of its halves are both the same.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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