A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink. (Don't ask me how that's possible, just go with it) As the bartender is pouring it, he asks "Why the long face?" The horse responds "My son died of cancer this morning..."

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Wha did the fireman say when he burnt his finger? Shit.

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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My dog got out of it's cage. So I found it and be the shit out of

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How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A car crash.

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What's the difference between a baby and an onion? One is a vegetable and the other is a human being.

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Q: Whats the difference between porno and your mom? A: I can masturbate to porno

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CNN has posted that the recent death of osama bin laden is comparable to decapitating a snake when really it is more akin to bisection of a worm.

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Why was the little girl crying. Her dad wiped his bloody penis with her teddybear.

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What is worse then falling into a lava pit? Nothing you idiot.

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Whats the difference between a Corvette and a dead bag of babies. -there's not a Corvette in my garage

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Did you hear about the cow that could fly? Me either

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A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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blargen fa-diddle nachen!

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What is funnier than a dead baby? almost everything. there is nothing funny about a dead baby.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

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knock knock. who's there. gestapo.

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Why did Phil Krahn cross the road? Because he is gay

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Two cows in a field one says Moo the other says, Moo

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Nah really, I start giggling like a dork whenever weird porn or whatever shows up on my computer, its just too weird. Fine ill use my glasses then, thanks for the comment by the way, I was really regretful for sending you that pic, but then again I did not have contacts then, nor did I want to photoshop anything.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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