-You know what will always get people fighting? -Hey, you wanna fight?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Today I went to the grocery store. I purchased milk, eggs, orange juice, and my favorite breakfast cereal for $18.73. I subsequently got into my sedan and drove home.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Timothy started school at an elementary and was in the fourth grade. His teacher was Ms Bradshaw, and he liked his class. One day as he was going into class, Ms Bradshaw asked everybody, "what's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it?" Timothy raised his hand and said "the holocaust." The teacher went to her desk and pulled out a desert eagle and shot Timothy five times in the face and raped his dead body

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why are friends like trees? If you hack at them repeatedly with an axe, they fall over.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A woman is shopping at a grocery store. She picks up a half gallon of skim milk, 2 loaves of wheat bread, one dozen organic eggs, and some carrots. She goes to the checkout line. "You must be single." the clerk says. Amazed at the flattering insight of the clerk, the woman says, "Yes I am. How could you tell?". "Because you're ugly".

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How many Jews does it take to bake a turkey using an oven, I don't know but it only takes one Jew to stuff one.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A black person dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M Factory? A: It's hard to say. HR can not discuss the details of her termination, and the blonde signed a non-discloure agreement. She has since relocated to Biloxi with her family and is doing quit well.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is the difference between a Mexican man and a bench? The Mexican man is a human being, thus being sentient and able to partake in social activities, such as receiving education, meeting people, getting a job, raising a family, and getting somewhere in life. The bench cannot do anything. It is inanimate and is meant to be sat on.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats the definition of not winning? Charlie sheen losing custody of his son because he is a coked out, old man douche bag, who only gets told what he wants to hear because he forks out lots of money to gold digging hookers.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

If a chicken and a taco cross a highway how many cats does it take to milk a turkey? Cactus cause the dog had two black eyes

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the difference between a plumber and a gynecologist? One has a knowledge of piping system of a house and the ability to fix said pipes and the other has the medical knowledge of a women's vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the chicken cross the road---- because he's having financial and relationship related problems that make his life so hideously unbearable that he wants to kill himself and because he's a chicken and cannot overdose or hang himself he goes for the most viable option as to run across a busy street in hopes of getting smashed to oblivion by a car

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's worse then a worm in your apple? When your apples a human

thumb_up thumb_down -14

p

thumb_up thumb_down -14

edmond alward. handyman services. call 0858430803.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you start a riot in Mexico? Roll a penny down the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did Adolf Hitler Start WWII and kill millions of Jews? Because he was a poweful dictator

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Your momma is so stupid your momma forgot that jesus did exist and has been proven by historians to have existed

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the man stop running. He was tierd

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What made your girlfriend laugh to death? You dropped my pants.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red Bob is dead My name is Dave Your a microwave

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops