What's the difference between a baby and an onion? One is a vegetable and the other is a human being.

CNN has posted that the recent death of osama bin laden is comparable to decapitating a snake when really it is more akin to bisection of a worm.

Did you hear about the cow that could fly? Me either

A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

What is funnier than a dead baby? almost everything. there is nothing funny about a dead baby.

blargen fa-diddle nachen!

Why did the chicken cross the road? because

A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

knock knock. who's there. gestapo.

What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

Hi i love black men so much and i am a jewish faggot bye

Nah really, I start giggling like a dork whenever weird porn or whatever shows up on my computer, its just too weird. Fine ill use my glasses then, thanks for the comment by the way, I was really regretful for sending you that pic, but then again I did not have contacts then, nor did I want to photoshop anything.

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Fish don't run.

Yo mama's so fat, she weighs 283 pounds.

Why did Phil Krahn cross the road? Because he is gay

Two cows in a field one says Moo the other says, Moo

You know what they say about a man's feet... No i don't.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? depends on how hard you throw them

whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

Nerochan, it was really nice chatting with you, I hope we can chat some other time... Please tell me why you are upset with me, just pick up the phone, I mean let me know what I did you wrong.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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