What did the archangel Michael say to Jesus? "Hello, Jesus."

"I saw daddy with mommy last night. I think he was stealing my milk."

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What's the difference between getting hit by a car and being struck by lightning? Impossible to tell, they are 2 entirely different circumstances with limited certainties.

A: Roses are red, Violets are blue. B: Then why are they called violets? A: I NEVER NOTICED THAT!

what did the blond say to his mother?? Nothing. He is deaf and has to use sign language.

who do you call those who give this joke a thumbs down? people

Girl 1- why was 6 afraid of 7? dog- ..................................(doesn't say anything because dogs can't ruff)

why wont our kids have time to socialize? because theyll all be too busy trying to find a solution for global warming.

Why cant Joe drive his tractor? Because he doesn't have any arms or legs. Why doesn't Joe have any arms or legs? BECAUSE JOE IS A POTATO.

HALF LIFE 4 COMING OUT SOON!

I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen...

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!

Why did the jew go into the gas chamber? Because he thought he was going to get a shower.

If the Trojan Horse was a deadly deception, is it My Lethal Phony?

why did the chicken cross the road because he wanted to get to chicken to have safe sex

Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: A bleeding penguin.

A black man takes a girl home from a nightclub. She says "Show me it's true what they say about black men". So he reveals a big penis and they have sex there and then.

Tim likes girls

The $5.00 Foot-long at Subway's is actually $5.45 due to tax.

Rylan Clark

What happened when Tim's house caught on fire? The fire department was contacted and they put the fire out.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

Why can't the Asian do math? He has down-syndrome.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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