What did the duck with one leg say to the pirate? Woof.

Why was Armando unable to be found by his friend Ashley ? A: They both were murdered 7 years ago, and bodies are unable to do anything if they lost their soul that was with that body.

Once upon a time there was a man that was exercising and he pulled a muscle and had to have his arm removed. The end.

roses are red voliets are blue u actule thought i would cry over you!

If Alex Maitland reads this he is gay

What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident

In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

Why did the nervous man jump out of a plane? He was sky diving.

black people

A guy walks into a bar. He goes to the hospital with a severe head injury and dies.

What's brown and sticky? A black man's dick after raping you.

What's the same about a duck-billed platypus and a duck? They both have a duck bill on their face... Duh!

What did the man do to the begging orphan on a cold Christmas morning? He kicked him.

your momma's so fat that we are all seriously concerned for her health.

how do you make a plumber cry?.... kill his family

Why was Timmy's hair shaved? He had cancer and was going though Chemo.

Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes A: Nothing - call an animal cruelty service

Question: What do you call the black guy wearing a white shirt? Answer: Steve. His parents game him the name at birth, and he is called that ever since.

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

A couple arrive at a Halloween party for nudists. Then they enjoy the themed decor and food.

How do you get a cat off a swing? You throw a dog at it.

What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

Who needs god when coffee is cheaper

Justin Beiber is a good singer

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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