So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A: Who keeps knocking on the wall? B: My neighbors have sex a lot. A: We should knock back.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Halt! Who goes there?! It is I, Prince Ali Ba Ba of Yo mamas house. To what do I owe this pleasure of your kindness? I come to you with gifts, relics, and spices. All these can be yours if the price is right. Surely there must be a mistake here. How do you go about by and by without a horse? Are you who you say you are? English mothafucka do you speak it?!!! What is this mothafucka do you speak of? Say what again, I dare you! I double dare you mothafucka say what one more goddddam time. Oh wait stop, hammer time...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Three Men walk into a bar. One with a ax and one with a Shovel. The other one isn't holding anything. *Boom* (\ _ /) (x . x)

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yo mamma so fat that when she gets in bed she gets sleepy

thumb_up thumb_down +1

this new cologne, it's kind of gross smelling.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road ? To achieve his goal on the other side of the road. Being a chicken he is not aware of the arm a fast traveling motor vehicle can bring to him.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A black person dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you tell the difference between a white family, and an albino black family? The albino black family suffers from a lack of pigmentation, while the white family just has a naturally pale skintone.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yo Mama is so poor, she can barely keep a steady income and cannot support her family of 10 even with support of food stamps and wel fair and will probably die soon due to diabetees because she wasted her food stamps on food that is bad for the average persons diet and due to a lack of exercise. I am worried about her she seems very depressed due to her wight and fatality outlooks and you should probably direct her to your local clinic to make sure she is OK and try to help her with her weight mangment problems. I am scarred for you and your family and I wanted to make sure you are ok and are doing well in education and are on track for a very bright future probably going to a universety which you will pay for with student loans from a bank in the local area. I am extremely worried so are you OK with all of those things I said before and if you are not I can help you get onto the right track and your mom can have a happier longeer life filled with fun happinnes wisdom life and other things like peace and forgivness for all people should get that it is part of our natural human rights and we deserve such things I speak of. Are you ok and does your life apply to thing things I have said in the past couple of motivational minuites. ''get the fu^k off porch''

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? I'm sleeping with your wife

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: what does a worm and a fish have in common? A: they are both a worm, apart from the fish

thumb_up thumb_down +1

a man dyslexic into bar walks a

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If your reading this, youre not blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? The sandwich is hidden under the couch, and is non-migratory.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you do with a Jewish kid with add( attention deficits disorder)? Send him to a concentration camp

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What do you call a black guy with his degree in dentistry? A: Doctor

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a man in the desert? Whatever his name is.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

laughter is the best medicine, unless you have cancer, then you will die.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

roses ar red violets ar blue i have aids

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops