What's small, white, and it killed Bruce Lee? Aspirin.

Knock Knock Who's There? Peyton Peyton who? Peyton Manning

why did the chicken cross the road? He saw his family getting murdered and tried to stop it but got hit in the process

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have to go to the bathroom

What did one penguin-necrophiliac say to another penguin-necrophiliac? Nothing. Penguins cant talk.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away her Gameboy.

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

what do u call a 50 yr old man at disneyland a rapist

Why did the ceiling fall down? Because there weren't any walls.

Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set in her backyard? Neither did she.

Whats bent but straight for danielle? Joseph Plummer

Roses are red Violets are blue Most rhymes rhyme But this one doesnt

Why was Jimmy upset? He wasn't.

Why did the kid fall off the bike? Because he was paraplegic.

When life hands you melons it means you're dyslexic.

What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot. Duh.

Tiny timmy likes timmy turner in his time of tingling on christmas.

What's the difference in a big brother and a wee brother? Ones big, ones small.

Tony Romo

What did the homeless man say to the man who gave him change? “Mmmm I sure do love pocket lint”

What did the black do when a man robbed his house? He called 911

So Helen Keller walks into a bar...

Q #1: Why did Sally fall off the swings? A #1: She has no arms. Q #2: Knock Knock Who's There? Not Sally.

What green and eats rocks? Grass, i lied about the rocks

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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