What came first the egg or the hen? your mother did, when I had sex with her last night.

why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

What's worse than a work in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing the same joke repeated thousands of times on anti-joke.com.

Roommate 1: I want to make food but I'm not going to Roommate 2: Why not? Roommate 1: Because I'm tired and lazy.

So, a Hispanic, Jewish, Asian man are on a plane. The pilot turns to them and says "Aren't you tired of this?"

Knock, Knock. Lol jk, we all know knock knock jokes fricken suck.

What did Stephen Hawking say to a prostitute? Push me, and then just touch me, Till I can get my, Satisfaction.

Want to hear a clean joke? Soap.

Q:whats the wost thing that can happen to you when you find something? A:not finding something

Knock Knock! Who's there? The police, your father just died in a boat accident.

God is like semen. They're both nouns.

What do homeless people get at Christmas? Cold.

A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

What's the best sound in the world? Children screaming

What is the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is a piece of wood, while the black man is a human being.

Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON. And Michael Jackson was a child molester.

can't you hear that TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT, TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT flute (nicki minaj in a past life listening to a symphony)

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

Whats fast, dead and make of CGI. Paul Walker

How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

Yo momma's so ugly that she could not find another partner after the tragic death of your father

What did the boy say 9+9 was? The Holocaust

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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