What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

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"Is your fridge running?" "Yes, I believe so" "You'd better go make sure, because I put some chicken in there and it didn't seem very cold to me"

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How do you make a dog drink? Put one in a blender.

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How many black people does it take to solve a complex physics equation? Trick question

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because that's where it wanted to go.

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what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

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That awkward moment when you have to tell your child you wanted an abortion, and still wish you had.

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Q: what do you call a camel with a garbage bag on its head? A: A ziploc baggie

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Moose A: What do you call a moose with diapers on its head? Moose B: Me.

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What do Jerry Sandusky and Michael Jackson have in common? They both had sex with little boys.

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Why was Jenny alone? Everyone else had died in a zombie apocalypse.

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shit is shit, even if you paint it purple; its still shit

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A horse walks into a bar and begins to moo. Everyone is confused until it takes off its costume and reveals it's just a cow.

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Q: Suzy loves apples she will o anything to get her hands on an apple. A: You guys are so gullible!!! She DID eat Tom's apple. ...... then he killed her.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

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You know what they say... Once you go black you...have gone down the road of diversity and it's impossible to back track and return to ones previous misconceptions.

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What did the rabbit say to the man nothing animals cant talk

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Through him a survival buoy

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your Apple ? The holocust .

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what did mohammed say to Jesus? nothing they lived in completly different time periods

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whats the king of the forest, is the color brown and is red all over? A deer or someone's soon to be dinner.

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My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

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How do you ask a blonde out to dinner? Politely

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops