Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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When writing haikus Sometimes, I miscount the syllables See, that line has eight.

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I just met you, And this is crazy. So call me Kony, I stole you're baby.

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An elephant walked into a bar. By bar I mean jungle. Elephants aren't capable of walking into a bar.

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What sport do all black people like? This is impossible to answer because not all black people like the same sport.

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When Chuck Norris realized that there was a more superior being than himself. What did he say? Suck it Safka

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A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

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Your wife died during the delivery.

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What's worse than falling off a horse? Falling off a cliff.

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Theres this black guy who goes to a gun shop and buys a .45 and then goes to get a permit and uses it responsibly....

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Did you hear the one about the guy who couldn't tell any funny jokes? He went to Anti Joke and posted 1000's.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

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what did little johnny scream at the xbox after he lost a game? god what the hell! Muskcrat143 i told u to cover my back when i had my predator missile! now my covers blown and i lost my killstreak! god u suck so much and Hippo099 why didn't u kill them before they got a killstreak like wtf!!! i told u to use ur semtex cause i had a claymore set down jeez u guys suck i'm leaving.

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what did a ginger say to god? nothing gingers dont have souls and therefore cant go to heaven

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A blond and his wife were in the hospital expecting their first child together. The wife gives birth to twins and the husband turns to her and says, "I can't believe we had twins. I'm so happy!"

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Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

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Why was Martin Luther King shot? The shooter strongly disagreed with his viewpoints.

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What do you call a black man in the south? An example of diverse America

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What did the boy say to the girl seductively eating a banana? A: bananas are my favorite fruit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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