Roses are red, Violets are blue.. And IDGAF!

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Well, its Eliza again, sorry to bother you Nero, I always thought you where good looking but I know that when it comes to you its not about the looks, you are far more than meets the eye. Neo-Nero was the guy we met at a certain meeting, the arrogant guy with the big forehead whose arms where shaking remember? I wont reveal more for his sake, he did not mean bad, he was just angry like the rest of us and felt responsible, again like many of us. So when can we meet you? I assume you wont be arriving soon, but Id really apreciate seeing you again, and considering neither I nor my parents (I asked them) have the money to come visit you, id appreciate a loan or something.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Why did the jew go to the doctors? Because he had a severe headache.

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(Knock, knock) A: Who's there? B: Orange A: That is impossible. Oranges are inanimate objects and, therefore, cannot speak.

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What's worse than getting dumped? Being molested by a crazy hobo

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Why did the owl visit the hospital? His mom was dying of luekemia.

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What's worse than biting into a worm in your apple? Being run over by a stampede of elephants

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Why is 5 the best number? Because it's alive!

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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(PC) Why aren't regular jokes as good as anti-jokes? Because they are worse than anti-jokes.

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What did God say to the priest while he was masturbating.... ... God doesn't exist.

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What's brown, smelly, and will never have a job? Poop.

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People really hate it when sentenses don't end the way elephants wear hats

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A three-legged prostitute, a coal miner, and R. Kelly walk into an all-midget rendition of Stravinsky's Rite of Spring. The miner has a heart attack and dies. The concubine and the vocalist do nothing to help.

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What starts with F and ends in UCK? The F word but im not allowed to say it.

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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whats worse than getting ur penis cut off......no holocaust

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I don't always browse the internet. But when i do i prefer Anti Joke.con

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What happens when an alien touches fire? It gets burnt

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What do you call a boomerang that wont come back? Broken.

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How did the mexican cross the border? He went through border patroll, and then later became a legal citizen of North America

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If 1+1=2 why does 2+2 not equal 3?

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Hey, do you want to play the rape game ? NO! That's the spirit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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