Happy Birthday!! Have some meth cupcakes.

two muffins are in an oven and one turns to the other and says,'' hey, it sure is hot in here''. and the other one says," holy crap, its a talking muffin!''

What happens when you turn 70? You have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it. What happens when you turn 71? You still have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it.

What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

Where can you find a tetraplegic? Where you left him.

Why do dogs chase squirrels? Beacuse dogs have very low attention spands and also chase cars and cats.

Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

How do you stop a black man from drowning? Through him a survival buoy

Ebola

What happened when the chicken crossed the road? It entered a KFC and had the unfortunate suprise of having its head cut off.

why did Sarah fall out of the swing? she had no arms. Knock knock. who's there? not Sarah.

What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

Why did the little boy fall down the steps? Because he wasn't a very stable person.

My uncle got hit by a truck, what was the last thing to go through his mind? The drive shaft.

Whats circular and black? a black circle.

what did the lamp say to the woman Nothing, a lamp is a plastic glass and metal inaminate object therfore it can not speak

A girl asks her best friends: Why are you only wearing one earring? The best friends replies: Because I took the other one out.

God has lived since the eternal eternity right? And one day he said let there be light? NO WONDER HE IS SUCH A NEEDY GREEDY EVIL FUCK! HOW WOULD YOU FEEL AFTER AEONS ENDLESS IN TOTAL DARKNESS? Moral: It is time for the prince, to stand up as the emperor, then no one shall doubt the power of the moral man.

What's worse than having to watch your dad rape your mom? Having to watch your mom rape your dad.

A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

what is the difference between Rick Perry and Lindsay Lohan? it only takes Lindsay 4 1/2 hours to finish a sentance.

your so vein that doctors find you really helpful when giving you injections

Women's Rights

What do a squirrel and a cigarette have in common? -They are both perfectly harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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