How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What do lazy asses get for Christmas? Fat

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? Misthrown

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Why was the woman arrested for trying to have sex with a miner? Because he was on the job and her advances were completely unwanted.

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Why was the black man driving a plane? because he was a pilot, you racist.

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Recycled jokes are about as good as a scalar roundabout... [L]

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What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

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what Did The Cow Say To The Chicken, Moo

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My title of old was Satan. You humans killed my brother, ending God the holy trinity`s stay on earth, the Gods Omega. Moral: And yet you call ME? THE ANTICHRIST?!? I OFFERED HIM WATER! YOU OFFERED HIM TORTURE AND DEATH!

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What's good? Anything that is not bad.

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Whats 1 foot long and went in and out of my girlfriend? Our new baby

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Q. Why did the Chineese man eat a banana? A. He was hungry, and he was craving a banana.

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Q. What did the woman use for vaginal medication? A. Standard Strength Vagisil.

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there are seven of us," reply the babies, "now get us a round of bloody marys

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Two people are sitting on a 10th story window sill. They both fall off and die.

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Q; what did the gangster say after he and his gang robbed a bank? A;Hey boys lets go drink some soy milk (After that his gang killed him) but the moral of the story is to not rob banks or take drugs

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someone had sex with Justin bieber end result Justin went into labor

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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My heart is in my hands. Call an ambulance.

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Why did Lisa fall of the swing? Cause she had no arms... A: Knock Knock B: Whos there? A: Definitely not Lisa....

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What is grey and cannot fly? A parking lot.

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What was the little boys least favorite part of Christmas? Getting raped by his uncle.

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Whats more sad then four black men in a car driving off a cliff? The man they stolen the car from doesn't have car insurance.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He got AIDS and died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops